Tag Archives: Sergio Zimba
Sérgio Zimba – As Camisinhas (Condoms)
Upper Caption: “Condoms” or “rubbers” are very delicate items. They have an expiration date and should only be used once.
Woman advertising her wares in a pidgin (a mix of an indigenous African language and Portuguese): Used condoms for sale! Four for 500 meticais (the local currency).
Lower Caption: Wow! If this trend picks up, we’ll really be in trouble. Is there anything we won’t sell in this country?
Sérgio Zimba – Nas Vésperas do Ide Mubarak
Upper Caption: There are people who do not know it’s a sin to be dishonest and opportunistic, taking advantage of sacred ceremonies. . .
Woman: Peace be upon you (greetings), General Director. I’m here to tell you that tomorrow I can’t come to work. I want to take part in the end of Ramadan celebrations. May god protect you. Amen, amen, amen!
General Director: Forget your “peace-be-upon-yous” and tomfoolery, Macaringue. If you don’t come tomorrow, I will kick you out on the street! Out!
Sérgio Zimba – Abstinence
Upper Caption: One of the ways to avoid getting infected with HIV/AIDS is sexual abstinence, but it’s very difficult for those who have already tasted the forbidden fruit. . .
Man (praying, with a visible erection): My God, it’s been three months that I’ve been abstaining but I can’t stand this any longer. Please give me the strength to resist [temptation]. I don’t want to get AIDS! Amen!
Lower Caption: If he weren’t afraid of ruining his fingerprints, he might resort to masturbation.
Sérgio Zimba – IURD
Translation:
Man in uniform in the foreground is wearing a cap that represents the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God (UCKG, or, in Portuguese, “IURD”) and a money pouch prepared to receive both dollars and meticais (the currency of Mozambique)
Woman I: Did you see that, Yvonne? He’s collects money for the Universal Church.
Woman II: Don’t be so cynical. Maybe he’s from a place called the “Universal Institute of Racking Up Funds.”
Sérgio Zimba – Lixo
Translation
Woman: Potato peels, egg shells, bones, lobster tails, apple peels, milk cans, mayonnaise jars, and whisky and champagne bottles. . .!!! Júlio, why did you take all that out of our neighborhood trash can?
Man: I want to spread it around our trash can. We need to make a good impression so people don’t think we’re nobodies!